Sometimes emotions hit me in waves. Today this was the case, I suddenly realised it is Christmas Eve and that I have left my family back home to live on the other side of the world. I haven’t felt Christmassy at all in 30+ Celcius temperatures, so it is a feeling that has crept up slowly and only really had an affect in these hours before Christmas Day… Making an appearance as I watch the stores close, roads empty and hear family conversations and arguments from the open windows of the neighbours homes.
As I waited for the train today, sweating like crazy in the humidity and starting to feel slight regret for not being at home with family, I considered whether it was the right decision. Was it selfish to leave my loved ones despite them being happy that I am doing what I want to do? On one hand it is the time of year that families get together. That also means that a lot of families spend plenty of time apart, and I have been lucky to have lived very close to my family when I was in the UK.
On the other hand, it is just another day. December 25th is no different to January 15th or June 29th. It is just one day. If I miss being with my family for this 24 hour period, it gives me 364 other days to make up for it. Also, my family will try their best to make the trip out to see me early next year, the country my mum has always wanted to go to. Travel has not been as much of an interest for my mum since my dad died, so helping her find that spark again would be fantastic.
I’m tried of having to sacrifice time with my loved ones to pursue a travel goal. But if it was that easy everyone would do it. Nothing gives me more motivation to be successful however than the thought of being able to afford to have my family travel with me. This is what I want more than anything.
So Christmas Day without my family will be a blessing and a curse. It’s hard, but it makes me want to try my best to prevent it happening in future. To be able to do what love with the people I love without sacrificing one or the other.