Rejection.

A cross and statue of Virgin Mary (out of view) overlooking a town in Maragogi, Brazil.

It is interesting that we mourn those that are no longer with us despite suffering only being inflicted upon the ones that are still breathing.


It took me a couple of years to get over an existential crisis, one that had me struggling to cope with the fact that I was forced into existence 27 years ago and one day will be forced out of it. It isn’t the mentality I choose to adopt, it morphed into this uncomfortable perception around mild episode of mental illness. A passenger on a roller-coaster with no control over the destination, the ups and downs of life coming and going, riding the wave with no control over where the wave is taking me. It was the worst feeling in the world.
I can cope with reality today, some days more than others. One thing I cannot cope with is the idea that we are born, need to believe or fully commit to a religion or face an eternal punishment for failing to do so. The kind of person that has the nerve to utter such words is person I have no respect for. They say hate is a strong word and for those that can honestly say they don’t dislike anyone enough to hate, I feel they aren’t being honest with themselves.

‘If you’re struggling to find God, you aren’t looking in the right places.’

‘Lose yourself in scripture or find a place of worship, maybe then you will find God.’

‘You aren’t praying or praying hard enough.’

‘You need another outlook on life, you are seeking truth in the wrong way.’

How about stop telling me what I should be doing to meet your ideals? If a vegetarian doesn’t eat meat, I don’t tell them ways to find meat. They don’t want it and it is a pointless conversation. If I don’t want to put effort into finding God, don’t give me tips to find him. That isn’t what I am looking for. I am looking to meet people in my life that come to me as often as I see them and if I have to put effort into finding God, he isn’t worth my time. I’ve got shit to do.

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18 thoughts on “Rejection.

  • If there’s a god out there, and it wants to hide from me, there’s no way I’m going to find it.

    If it wants to be found, it knows where I live, and how best to reach me. The fact that it has put no effort into showing up tells me that it’s either not wanting to be found, non-existent, or an asshole. In any of those cases, there’s no point in my putting in any more effort into looking.

    • It is unfortunate your comment will most often be met with something along the lines of ‘he is finding you, you are just rejecting him’ and the like. I find it hard to describe the absence of God without theists telling me I am wrong, despite having nothing in support.

  • Maybe Thor is finding me. Maybe it’s Pikkiwokki, or the FSM. Without more to go on than an old book and people who think they have invisible friends, I don’t see that I have a good basis for accepting any of those.

    My response to those who are telling me that I’m “rejecting him”: “Oh, I’ve been looking for somebody who has a message for me from the actual god. And that god would know that I have a passcode, that I have thought really loud in my head many times, and he would have told his true follower what it is. If you know my passcode, just say it now and I’ll know that a real god is actually in communication with you! If your next sentence starts with the correct sentence, you can be sure that I will pay careful attention to everything you say! Do you need a moment to pray for your god to tell it to you?”

  • I know how you feel about life being a rollercoaster… it feels so pointless sometimes to just keep going up and down and up and down. And that’s a great point about theists sometimes/often shoving their beliefs into others’ faces when others don’t really want it; I guess we can get carried away at times because we’re too excited, and maybe fail to see that we’re really just bugging people more than anything :b
    Personally I just wanted to add that I don’t believe people are damned to eternal punishment because they simply fail to convert to some religion, or fail to be “good enough” somehow. What if everyone was already awful enough to deserve hell, but recognizing the need for a God and simply accepting His help was what changed everything? Just wanted to add that… I know you could argue that “awful” is a rather subjective term, but if you believe in a perfect God, every wrongdoing becomes awful because He sets the standard for good and evil. Then you could also argue that if this God is so perfect, why does He expect humans to reach that standard; and if He also created them, why not just make them perfect in the first place, or save everyone from hell if He’s so good? Then I could say that because good and evil are such opposites, neither can stand each other’s presence; which, if God is the epitome of good and perfection, would mean humans wouldn’t be able to stand in His presence when they’re flawed — and then I might go on to add that if God made us perfect and without the option of going our own way, we would basically be pre-programmed robots who do anything He wants.
    o_o The argument could go on. But I just wanted to add that point haha. (She says after saying maybe theists bug people more than anything xD)

    • I am glad that you see the counter arguments to the points you bring to the table, I feel this is important when trying to have a conversation with someone! When you said ‘if God made us perfect and without the option of going our own way, we would basically be pre-programmed robots who do anything He wants’. Doesn’t that mean if we don’t act like pre-programmed robots and go his way, there will be repercussions? This would be similar to a mafia boss saying you don’t have to listen to me, but if you don’t I will break your legs, wouldn’t it? We have the choice, but is it really a choice?

      • If you believe there is a God and just look around at everyone, I think you can see we really do have a choice, seeing as not everyone believes in Him x)

      • I know you see God as the bully with his fist ready to punch you if you don’t give him the money. What if you think about it like this: you’re already walking down a one-way road to death, but He’s offering you a way out?

      • Hey! I would possibly take it if there is the choice, however why should I believe him? I’ve walked past many people on such roads and my gut instinct is to avoid such offers!

      • Yeah, that’s a really great point… there are a lot of “solutions” like living a good life, or serving a different God. Then again it’s just seeing personally what you believe is the truth — which isn’t to say that I think truth is subjective, but just that people obviously already believe in different “truths.”

      • And there are so many truths out there, being claimed by thousands of religions, and thousands of denominations within each religion! Why so many? And why choose one over the other without superior evidence? That’s why I step away from all religions, not just a few 🙂

      • Funnily enough, I think you could also quite easily include atheism among those truths. The thing that sets atheism apart from other religions is that you don’t believe in any god(s), right? And not all atheists believe the exact same thing, either. People are always going to have flaws in their (our) thinking, and the reason that there are so many different beliefs and denominations is that we all have to seek out the truth for ourselves. If truth was so obvious, I think we’d all agree on a lot more subjects and hard questions like, “What’s our purpose in life?” or, “Who is God, and does he even exist?” or, “What is good and what is evil?” Which makes it a problem with humans rather than with any one religion/belief’s flaws, you know?

      • I agree to an extent. No all atheists agree and I agree with that. The problem with seeking truth for ourselves is that we seek truth that satisfies us instead of truth that requires evidence. The problem with a world in which most people want an afterlife is that people will find ways to believe it, even if evidence doesn’t point to one. This is why I listen to science much more than religious folk, I want to hear the truth and not want sounds good, but I will be willing to accept something once the evidence is there.

      • Also a great point that I agree with haha. It’s true that we tend to seek “truth” that just tells us what we want to hear rather than looking objectively at the evidence that’s before us. It’s also true that we don’t really know for sure that there is an afterlife except sometimes for accounts from people who’ve had near-death experiences — but even then, of course, we don’t know that they’re not completely making it up in the first place. I believe in an afterlife because a source that I see as reliable promises it… and I’m sorry to direct you to an article, but it puts it much better than I could: https://calvarychapel.com/series/is-god-dead/view/the-trustworthiness-of-the-bible/
        Highly biased, yes, but many of the facts are incredible, such as the fact that the Bible was written over a 1600 year period by 40 different men in different stages/statuses in life, written in three different languages, with historical and scientific accuracy and rare contradictions.

      • I just worry that we are being governed by a deity that is incapable of communicating anything better that a book written over such a long period of time! I’ll check the link, thanks for providing although as you mention ‘highly biased’ I’m sure I’ll have mixed feelings! 😉

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