A cross and statue of Virgin Mary (out of view) overlooking a town in Maragogi, Brazil.
It is interesting that we mourn those that are no longer with us despite suffering only being inflicted upon the ones that are still breathing.
It took me a couple of years to get over an existential crisis, one that had me struggling to cope with the fact that I was forced into existence 27 years ago and one day will be forced out of it. It isn’t the mentality I choose to adopt, it morphed into this uncomfortable perception around mild episode of mental illness. A passenger on a roller-coaster with no control over the destination, the ups and downs of life coming and going, riding the wave with no control over where the wave is taking me. It was the worst feeling in the world.
I can cope with reality today, some days more than others. One thing I cannot cope with is the idea that we are born, need to believe or fully commit to a religion or face an eternal punishment for failing to do so. The kind of person that has the nerve to utter such words is person I have no respect for. They say hate is a strong word and for those that can honestly say they don’t dislike anyone enough to hate, I feel they aren’t being honest with themselves.
‘If you’re struggling to find God, you aren’t looking in the right places.’
‘Lose yourself in scripture or find a place of worship, maybe then you will find God.’
‘You aren’t praying or praying hard enough.’
‘You need another outlook on life, you are seeking truth in the wrong way.’
How about stop telling me what I should be doing to meet your ideals? If a vegetarian doesn’t eat meat, I don’t tell them ways to find meat. They don’t want it and it is a pointless conversation. If I don’t want to put effort into finding God, don’t give me tips to find him. That isn’t what I am looking for. I am looking to meet people in my life that come to me as often as I see them and if I have to put effort into finding God, he isn’t worth my time. I’ve got shit to do.